alps here!

Hi! People call me in different names, depending on where and when they’ve met me. Dad and mom would call me Girl, my brothers would call me Kofler (and i don’t have a single idea why), my younger brother, Ate…

Ordinary neighbors would call me by my first name, Alpine; close friends call me Apple; Highschool friends, churchmates, college friends, and present friends would call me Alps.

Some would make fun of my name… Alpus, Alpusu, (for Korean friends!), Alpushi, Arfs.

I find it cool to be named in different ways. It shows the extent of how people are dealing closely with me, and how comfortable they are in calling my name. But there’s this One Being who calls me in the most special way…

He calls me His Beloved.

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I was in gradeschool when I realized that GOD loves me so much that He even gave His only Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins, and to give me the promise of being with Him in eternity. It was also then when I received Him in my life as my personal Lord and Savior. While in Highschool, I understood what it means to have Christ as my Savior–sure, saving me from eternal condemnation.. But Him, being my Lord?… uhm, I think there’s something wrong.

I lived my highschool life struggling with my personal wants versus my Lord’s desire for my life. As a person my age, I would love to make a stand for myself, have my own convictions, and do things my own way–not thinking of what others might say. I want people to listen to me, hear what I have to say… I want them to see how I look at things, my perspectives… I want them to respect me as someone who has the charisma and authority… I don’t want to coerce. I just want to influence…

…through my own means, that is.

Until I reached college. At this point, I am starting to think of my future. As I’ve looked back at my highschool, I know I did not live the life that God has intended for me… and so I recommitted my heart to Him.

Wooooooow. I had a fun but fast-paced college life. Staying in the university for just 3 years is really something I didn’t notice. It has just passed by.

I’ve got lots of things in my mind. Still, I’m having the desire that people would to listen to me; have them see how I look at things, agree with my perspectives; make them side my ideas, love me for what I can do; and just appreciate me for who I am…

Lots of things entered my head: I wanna be a lawyer. A professor or a highschool teacher. An advertiser. I wanna be with people, selling my ideas and my views… all for the glory of God.

…all for the glory of God? But why were my desires still Self-centered? Yeah, I am willing to give God the glory… a Second-hand glory.

After I finish my degree in Political Science, April 2005, I came across lots of frustrations and disappointments because I still cannot give-up my desires, though I am willing to give the Lord the glory.

Until He taught me obedience.

It took me two jobs (one as a Marketing and Sales Executive; another as a Language Teacher) and an unfinished second degree course in Advertising to realize that I must not be living my own life as I please. My life is the Lord’s and therefore He has His best plans for me… if only I would obey.

September 2007 when I finally let go of my own heart, following God’s leading for me. I joined the Staff Team of Philippine Campus Crusade for Christ as an Intern Missionary, being assigned in De La Salle-University Manila, my alma mater.

After all those years of struggling, I finally had peace. I must admit that living my own dreams didn’t really give me passion and fulfillment. And I realized that my life is not about me anymore, it’s about my God, who has called me His Beloved.

God turned everything upside down, including my heart. It is Him that I want to be heard by people in my life; I want Him to be seen in my every action; I want Him glorified, not me. I want people to see how God loves them, and how He has shown that love in the person of Jesus Christ.

It’s not about me anymore.

It’s about my God.

To Him be the glory.